Huston, I think We have a Problem.

11 10 2011

Does my bum look big in This

Poor Doris had a prolapse, in layman’s terms her bum fell out!

I let the hens out of the coop for a run and her bits had fallen out of her vent. My first reaction was oh my god, what on earth is that because she had  a swelling the size of a Golf ball hanging out of her. Ahhhhh the internet must have the answer? After much surfing I came across and this seemed to have all the instructions I needed.

Admittedly I was a bit short on some of the Materials

*Flexiguard bandage (equestrian product), or any bandage that sticks to itself and has elastic material? Nope but I do have a crepe Bandage and a safety pin

*Haemorrhoid cream, thats ok big tube of Preperation H upstairs

*Surgical pad? Oh dear, Sadly I seem to have a rather inadequate first aid kit. But… i do have a panty Liner.

*Surgical gloves? luckily I am good at improvising so one of the dogs poo bags worn over my hand will have to do.   Poor Doris, Her bum Fell out!Right equipment gathered, what next. It seems I must stick my finger in Poor Doris and poke her prolapse in. OOOOOH I am not sure I can do this,but what are the alternatives? Another hefty Vet bill or Wring her neck? Not sure I can do this either, so back to the internet. After some lengthy research and having read many smallholders forums it would seem that this is not an  uncommon event in the chicken world and  many have home helped their hens.

Don’t worry Doris I will be very gentle.

So there  I was, Knelt on the lawn on an unseasonably Warm October day.Hen between my Knees with its head up my skirt so she doesn’t struggle, Poo bag, generously lubricated with the preparation H on Hand with Nurse Monty happily leaping around eager to assist.                                                                         Monty thought he might like to helpRight, Gently push the prolapse back in inserting your finger a few centimetres. I took a deep breath and went for it,. Doris wriggled a bit but actually it wasn’t too bad, nowhere near as gruesome as i had expected. Doris did her damdest to push both the lump and my finger back out which was a bit weird, but I began to feel quite confident that I could do this, but every time I took my finger out the prolapse came back out.

Back to the little Hen instructions, if only I had fully read these in the first place. Push it in then hold the vent closed for five minutes.

OK back in the kneel, Chicken, Skirt formation, I poke Poor Doris’s  bits back inside her and hold closed the vent, Which from this position I can only describe as looking like A female Chicken Foreskin, if you get the picture? Stage two requires that I put more Ointment on the pad hold it in place over the vent while securely bandaging it in place so that the prolapse is unable to escape. This, the web site suggests is a four handed procedure, I unfortunately only have Two and a very unhelpful Canine Nurse. Now as anyone who has tried it will tell you, Bandaging a chicken is not easy. The Bandage unravelled all over the place, Doris was doing her Squawking best to escape my clutches and me two hands short when Nurse Monty decides to chase an imaginary cat out of the Garden, pulls a muscle in his leg and Joins the cacophony, Yelping and squealing in pain. Summoning as calm a voice as I could manage I persuaded him to lay down until I could get to him. Having secured Doris’s  truss with a big safety pin I stood back and couldn’t help but giggle as she staggered about in her new Pants! It Would seem that without Her wings for balance she cant stand properly and every few steps resulted in her laying on her side unable to get back up. For her own Protection I put her in a Big Cardboard box and the next Morning took off her bandages in case she needed to lay an egg. Not quite healed but improved we kept her on her own for the day in case the other, somewhat brutal hens, decided to peck at her. Any wound or scratch seems to be fare game to them.

I am now pleased to report that after a repeat procedure the next night Doris is now Fixed! Monty is still Nursing a sprained leg as he will Not stop charging about, but now is on a course of very expensive anti-inflammatory  stuff from the Vet.

Today I am a Chicken Fixer! Maralyn




7 responses

11 10 2011
Kathryn McCullough

Poor Doris! Sounds like you did well, my friend. Good for you.

I don’t dare let my Sara know you have chickens. She wants some so badly. I keep telling her no until we prove to ourselves that we aren’t soon off to some god-forsaken location on the other side of the planet.

Great post!


11 10 2011

Thank you, I am feeling quite proud of my self, oops “pride” another of those 10. Chickens are easy and surprisingly Nosy. They make you leave the house every day while not demanding too much of you attention. When my husband was suffering from his depression I never fed them before work but always called up the stairs “sorry running late can you feed the girls?” Sneaky but it ensured that he got up and dressed at some point that morning. I am sure he just thought I was being lazy and neglecting them.
We only have a small garden but it is great to see them scratching around, a little touch of natural life just outside your back door although they do wreck the veggies.
The other advantage is that I no longer face the moral/financial egg dilemma at the supermarket. Sarah should have some if you couldn’t re home them you could always eat them. Sorry not sure that was a great suggestion?

11 10 2011
The Good Greatsby

Doris is pretty lucky to have someone willing to do things for her even my wife wouldn’t be willing to do for me.

11 10 2011

Not quite sure I would do it for my Hubby either but then I am not sure he would happily lay on the Lawn with his head up my skirt while I shove things up his bum? But nice to have your presence on my blog. Thankyou.

16 10 2011

What a inspiring and fun story. And quite fantastic how you would take care of Doris. Finally being a photographer myself, I had to love the first picture. It’s so weird and almost mind-blowing. I really enjoyed this posting.

16 10 2011

Glad you enjoyed this, I am Not a photographer but really enjoy taking pictures.

3 04 2012

Hi, sorry to report poor Doris is dead, I don’t think it was as a result of my nursing, she caught a cold in the autumn and just keeled over. Just Betty and Marilyn left now. We miss her as she was the most outgoing of the trio.

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