The selfie generation.

3 01 2015

I recently needed a picture of myself and discovered that I didn’t have one, apart from an awful passport photo that is, so reluctantly decided to have a go at a selfie. With ipad propped on a table and after mant discarded attempts I managed what I thought a passable portrait. A couple of months later, Carols playing out as I got the bar ready to open on Christmas Day and pondered my day ahead, I realised how happy I was, This, my very first one as a singleton, was going to be a very good day, filled with lovely people and things I enjoy. So to celebrate and record my new found happiness, out with the elastic arms and the ipad. Here is my Merry Christmas selfie!

I have given myself the best gift ever. Freedom, thankyou very much xxx



Something Confucius might say

3 08 2013

A man who has plenty but seeks more through dishonesty may find that he gains nothing but has lost what he already had. In other words you can’t have your cake and eat it!

Goodbye to my old life.

10 10 2012

Well this has been a funny year! I shall skip over the first part as it has been emotionally Painful and is now in the past so there is no point in pulling that apart. Anyway, having reached a point where our current life was not working for us, Hubby and I have decided in our middle aged madness to take the bull by the horns and change it. We are leaving our home of 35 years and are going to Run A Pub! The Fat Ox in St Michaels, Tenterden.

It is old, but quaint.

Shabby, but pretty.

Run down, but dieing to be lived in.

And full of potential.

This is our big adventure and I need to say a big thankyou to hubby he has been a rock in my ocean of fear (god that sounds corny) and all my friends and family who have listened patiently as I have gone over and over the pros and cons in my efforts to find the courage to throw caution to the wind and take a risk.

We take over on the 22nd October 2012 and would like you all to come and help give this poor old Public House a new Heart. I will try to post weekly on our progress and invite you to share our adventure.

Ta Ta for now, my next post will be from our new Life x

In a far country.

25 06 2012

The woman picked up the phone.
The lady on the other end had a strong accent, she wasn’t from around here,and wanted to speak to her husband.
“No I am sorry” replied the woman cautiously,”he is not home, can I take a message”? She felt sure that this was not good news after all it was early evening, way out of business hrs.
“Well yes” said the lady who introduced herself as Mijelka,he applied for a job and we are holding inductions tomorrow at ten o’clock. He must bring all his documents including his birth certificate and passport.”
The woman’s heart skipped a beat, could this be possible, he had only applied earlier that day.She quickly scribbled down the details as Mijelka rattled them off.
” It is a permanent full time job, four days on four days off.”
“who should he ask for?
“Oh I will be there”
She thanked the lady and hung up just as her husbands keys rattled in the door. She smiled at him as he walked into their still sunny living room a slightly puzzled look on her face, there had been something odd about the conversation on the phone but she wasn’t quite sure what it was.
“who was that?”
She explained about the interview did he want to go.
“of course I want to go, I will need some money for petrol though, it will be a sixty mile round trip, Why so far away, did she say”? The position he had applied for was about twelve miles away which was far enough when you had to find the fuel every day.
The next morning Martha got up a little bit earlier  than usual to make sure she had time to get his interview clothes ready and make a drink for them both.
“I am not sure about this job, four on four off sounds like twelve hour days that’s a very long shift” he pulled out the vacancy details from the previous day. Fruit packer, permanent, full time, hours 8am until 4pm and I am not sure how it will work out financially with the petrol”.
They gazed at each other across the kitchen, the words unsaid hung heavily between them, they both new that he would need to take almost anything he could get as their savings where drying up and living on one wage was going to be difficult.
“she definitely said four on four off! see how you get on today”
Picking up up her bag to leave for work Martha looked back with what she hoped was an encouraging smile, “ring me”?
All day she waited and the phone didn’t ring.
He arrived at the recruitment centre fifteen minutes early, it had in the end only taken him fifty minutes to drive there. Having checked in with the girl at the desk he took a seat, as instructed, in a side room with five others. Nervously he sat and waited as another Ten equally anxious men filed in, he didn’t recognise any of them but then he was far from his local area in a town he would not normally visit so that shouldn’t be any surprise.
Ten o’clock came and went, no Mijelka, he glanced discretely around the stark room as his fellow applicants fidgeted in their seats, feet shuffling. They all looked up expectantly as they heard the clip clopping of ladies heels approaching about ten minutes later.Could this be her, the woman who has summoned them all at such short notice, they had all received a call at about the same time last night.
Mijelka and another woman entered the room and introduced themselves as representing HRGO recruitment.
” does anyone speak English”?
Bloody cheek he thought, of course I speak English, it turned out that some didn’t and one had to have an interpreter.
” these are temporary positions that start tomorrow”
“where is the factory” he asked
Mijelka gave him the address and continued, all work documents where checked, wouldn’t want any illegals on the books would they, finger prints taken, and then onto the induction details.
“your shifts will be 8 a.m to 8 p.m, although you must be at your place of work by 7.30 a.m, if you are not there by 7.30 when you do arrive you will be sent home without pay and another will take your days work. You will not necessarily get four days off you may get one, you may get more, it depends…….”
“where is this factory? Can you give me directions?
He read through the page of job details that had just been handed him in answer to his enquirie, not quite understanding he read it again.
” where! The position I applied for was much nearer to my home and the vacancy I applied for was permanent at a higher rate of pay than this” He had been lured here on a wild goose chase.
“Oh no, this is not for that job, you must attend another induction tomorrow for that job”
He was feeling insulted now, these women where lording it over them like they had no dignity, no choice at all.
” excuse me, I have attended here today at the drop of a hat, and now you need me to do it all again on Saturday”
” Oh forget about your weekends now, they no longer exist” she replied with a smirk.
He left the office with instructions to report for duty the next morning if he wanted the weeks work and drove home feeling totally degraded, his wife would be so disappointed if he didn’t get a job.
And where does this happen?
Where do people looking to earn an honest living get treated and mislead like this?
Where do the vulnerable become the prey of sharpe practice?
England! In fact Sittingbourne, Kent. You might have believed at the start that this was taking place in some impoverished third world country, the kind of treatment dished out to Mexican illegals in the movies, but no, it is here in the UK.
The Man, my husband and all the other men where treated with total disrespect because they applied  for a job! This experience makes the humiliation of signing on for unemployment benefit seem like a picnic.
Anyone using HRGO as a recruitment company should maybe think again, it would appear that because they assume their applicants are foreign immigrants that they do not deserve to be treated with a little dignity. Well shame on you HRGO recruitment.

Out of season

16 04 2012

While frantically trying, with little success, to de-clutter I came across a verse I wrote nearly twenty years ago. I had thought it lost, it had been a long time since I had seen it so I shall share it here before I misplace it again.

Spring and the first buds bloom                                                     
Like the tender flutter in a mothers womb.
They gently unfurl their fronds and buds,
As a new life forms from its parents love.
Boldly they burst out, vibrant, bright,
That perfect child like springs new light.

Then summertime, so strong so sweet,
This new life now must find its feet.
As nature displays her fruits with such pride,
She feels not the seed of doubt hidden there inside.
The summers sun so warm and healing,
Like a balm to the wounds of the ripe fruits leaving.

Mellow Autumn creeps slowly around,
While the debris of life’s labours are thrown to the ground.
Her naked arms, coldly hung by fog,
Where once she received such unquestioning love.
With blankets of dew and tears of rain,
How could such precious pleasure become such raw pain?

With quiet time for thought and rest,
Winters crisp season should be the best.
But frozen fingers of ice like jabbing needles,
Open the wound of hurt she feels.
Gently, a flutter, a tiny bird takes shelter in her barren boughs.
Winters glimmer of hope, a cry unheard,
Someone does still need her now.

Spring again, the grass will grow
Courting birds will sing, such thankful fellows.
The fruits of her fruit are born of her anew
Again life returns, once again the dew.
This timid sun warms away her doubt
That springs gentle pleasures will again be felt.

Which way to go?

14 04 2012

Is there a good way to die? I have just finished reading a great book ” The time Travelers Wife” and if you haven’t read this or might be planning to stop blogging now, in which a guy called Henry flits to and fro through time, popping in and out of his soul mates life. Henry’s soul mate Claire first meets Henry when she is about six and he is a grown man, there must be a reason why Henry is drawn to her as he has no choice where his time travel takes him ,so it must be some kind of Kismet. Their relationship ,purely platonic at this time, twists and turns along untill they finally meet when they are both in real-time and are adult. Their love, although encapsulated in this bizarre scenario is so believable that you naturally expect a happy ending. During a recent bout of insomnia I decided to read the next chapter of this romance and was surprised to find myself sobbing into its pages, never has a book moved me so. Henry has realised that he has never time traveled and met Claire as an old woman, he realises, and you would need to read the book to truly understand how likely this is, that during his travels he has died. He knows the year, which is some time off but is unable to tell Claire! I can’t begin to tell you how unbelievably sad this part of the book is but it did leave me with a burning question, would I want to know when I Was going to die so I could prepare for my own demise or would I like to just slip away unexpectedly?

Oddly while at the hairdresser’s today this subject came up. My hairdressers father had recently died from leukaemia and she was about to run the London marathon in his honour, this is going to be tough for the poor woman as she hadn’t expected to be accepted on her first application and is now training like mad. Had he been ill for long? No she said, he had only been diagnosed about six weeks before and wished he hadn’t known what he had.
On the other hand the mother of a close friend died last year of a heart attack, Carole had been fit and active, a non smoker and appeared to be in the best of health. Her family were devastated! So many things unsaid, so many gaps in their lives that Carole usually filled and they had not had time to consider the impact that her leaving them would have. But she would have hated a long slow death, so I suppose we should rejoice that she was spared that and remember her vitality and how she shaped the life that we still live in her memory.
In contrast, some people battle on with long illnesses for what seems like a lifetime. My sister in law Sue was diagnosed with a terminal tumour on her kidney, she was very brave and struggled on for many months. Unfortunately, or so it appeared to me, she was unable, even though she knew her time was short,to enjoy the remainder of her life as she was totally absorbed with looking for a cure, strange Australian herbs, visualisation, spiritual healing, hoping for not the impossible but the unlikely. Perhaps understandable as she had a young daughter who needed her, but very sad that her final days where so….that she could not have had more fun.
A good friend, Verinda, was cured of breast cancer, but I felt she was always waiting for its return. Unfortunately she was right and many years later it has returned. Verinda however seems relieved, I saw her recently and it was as if all her cares had fallen away, she looked so well and vibrant, full of life she seemed to have looked death in the eye and challenged it to spoil her fun. She will be missed, I hope I am as brave when my time comes.
Like many I have seen elderly parents fade away, I think welcoming an end of days. So many ways to leave, so many different paths and doorways, which one will be chosen for each of us? If you could choose , How would you like to go?

I cant turn the page.

11 04 2012

I need to add some pictures but cant get them onto the right page. I think I may need to enlist some help, probably from someone below the age of 20! How are they all born with instant computer knowledge?

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